And some days, my friends make me proud.

In a livejournal post, my friend J. decried against an insulting post he found in a community he's in. The post he was annoyed by was rude and insulting, a high-handed list of things bigger women "should do" to make themselves appealing to other people. Should do - not could do.

J. went on to describe exactly why he found the post to be odious here. J. and I don't always agree on things - and sometimes we spectacularly don't agree, in ways that cause other people to duck and cover - but on this, I'm behind his sentiment all the way.

What I find particularly interesting - the original "what you should do" post was made by someone who was, presumably, a BBW, a member of the very group she was lecturing and looking down on. The person defending the right of any woman to look how she chooses and stating that he prefers their natural state to something made up to the nine's, is a member of the group the original poster seemed to be trying to appeal to.

Being comfortable in your own skin and being confident in yourself is the biggest thing anyone can do to make themselves attractive. It sounds like that's what the original poster was trying to convey, but boy, what a horrible way to go about saying that - by making people feel that if they didn't live up to the list of what that poster found attractive, they were falling short. It irritated me that it looked like the post was saying, "Do these things because other people find them attractive." - trying to live up to what "other people find attractive" is a losing battle, because everyone's tastes are different and you can't please all the people all the time. All it will succeed in doing is making someone less confident in themselves. Self confidence is beautiful. It's a shame the original poster doesn't realize that.

-Peregrine