Yes. I'm 12.
The title of this post stems from the sniggering that happened when I saw the last name "Dick Johncox" today. I acknowledge my occasional forays into completely juvenile behavior. It keeps me young at heart. The actual rant stems from something different yet similar.
I went to a wedding last weekend, and my psychosomatic rabies acted up. Noises were too loud, it was too crowded, and I felt like I was going to start foaming at the mouth and biting people. I managed to bail after the ceremony and head to the hotel for some downtime. People eventually arrived at the hotel for the after-party, and I had occasion to pinpoint something else that annoys me.
Social chameleons, or people that attempt to be ingratiating. I wound up in conversations with both types of people more than once. My normal modus op is to beat a hasty retreat, because I'm not a nice person when I'm annoyed.
Social chameleons are defined by their copycatting of an expressed opinion, even if said opinion is contrary to one they've just given. "My favorite ice cream is vanilla!" "I like chocolate best." "Me too!" It's sometimes excusable as a nervous social reflex. Two people who don't know each other trying to make conversation to prevent an uncomfortable silence. Usually it's a person who is far too eager to please. I'm apparently intimidating. I'm intense, or so I'm told, and that unnerves people. That doesn't make it any less annoying to be confronted with someone who will agree with me no matter what I say. If the person doubles back on their own opinion too often, I begin testing their sense of humour by making outrageous statements. "I have this bad habit of licking toes. When people have bare feet around me, I usually grab their feet and lick their toes. Surprises the hell out of 'em." "Oh wow! You too?! I do that all the time!" .. uh huh. Thanks for playing.
The second aspect of this that annoys me is the common denominator ingratiating thing. Granted, also occasionally excusable, but generally annoying anyway. Where the other person knows something about me and uses this as the entire basis of their conversation. "You're a vegetarian? That's so cool! I will talk about vegetarian-oriented topics until you want to become a cannibal!" "You have cats? I have cats! I will now bore you to death talking about cats until your ears bleed!" The worst is when the person blurts out whatever it is they're talking about unprompted, just out of the blue. If I'm at a party, and everyone is talking about frogs, "I like blue shoes" will cause me to stop and stare blankly until my brain parses that information and tries to figure out what the hell blue shoes have to do with anything else involved in the situation. My "WTF" fu is strong, and I can convey that term in bold, italic, underlined, 24 pt font, all-caps.. with a glance. What's usually worse than the initial statement is the follow up explanation.. "I heard you always buy blue shoes." .. especially if the information is wrong. It's not nice to laugh at people, but right about there, I usually can't help myself.
Yet a third aspect is the Spanish Inquisition get-to-know-you-better encouraging questions and statements. "Why are you a vegetarian?" "I can't eat meat." "Well, I think that's a good thing, because it shows you care about animals!" .. "What made you choose to become pagan?" "I haven't found a definition for the Powers That Be that fits my own personal belief system." "Oh, it's so good to see young people questioning and learning!" This aspect has gotten bad enough that I try to derail it with completely off-the-wall answers. "Why'd you choose to become a vegetarian?" "Tortoises." "Oh..uh.. what?" "Tortoises. I like giant Galapagos tortoises. They're herbivores, and they lead a very peaceful sort of life. In trying to mode my life after the Way of the Galapagos Tortoise, I chose to stop eating meat to hopefully bring myself further into symbiosis with them." "Great.. uh.. gotta go!" "Why are you (insert thing here)?" "Have you ever noticed how the flavour of bread changes when it becomes toast? It's not just the texture, it's the entire taste..(find a way to bring this around to whatever they were asking me about. Usually after their eyes have glazed over.)"
I had someone come up to me after the wedding and cheerfully remark that I must've been wasted. Which isn't true, because I'm far too much of a control freak to get past the drunk-dial-your-cellphone-phonebook-list stage of tipsy. The basis for drunk determination stemmed from the way I kept twisting the conversations of the two people who were being social post-its that night. I noted that there had been two choices: make it amusing or hide under a table and scream.
The table wasn't really an option. Have you seen what lurks on the bottom of rental-buffet tables? Ugh.
-P
I went to a wedding last weekend, and my psychosomatic rabies acted up. Noises were too loud, it was too crowded, and I felt like I was going to start foaming at the mouth and biting people. I managed to bail after the ceremony and head to the hotel for some downtime. People eventually arrived at the hotel for the after-party, and I had occasion to pinpoint something else that annoys me.
Social chameleons, or people that attempt to be ingratiating. I wound up in conversations with both types of people more than once. My normal modus op is to beat a hasty retreat, because I'm not a nice person when I'm annoyed.
Social chameleons are defined by their copycatting of an expressed opinion, even if said opinion is contrary to one they've just given. "My favorite ice cream is vanilla!" "I like chocolate best." "Me too!" It's sometimes excusable as a nervous social reflex. Two people who don't know each other trying to make conversation to prevent an uncomfortable silence. Usually it's a person who is far too eager to please. I'm apparently intimidating. I'm intense, or so I'm told, and that unnerves people. That doesn't make it any less annoying to be confronted with someone who will agree with me no matter what I say. If the person doubles back on their own opinion too often, I begin testing their sense of humour by making outrageous statements. "I have this bad habit of licking toes. When people have bare feet around me, I usually grab their feet and lick their toes. Surprises the hell out of 'em." "Oh wow! You too?! I do that all the time!" .. uh huh. Thanks for playing.
The second aspect of this that annoys me is the common denominator ingratiating thing. Granted, also occasionally excusable, but generally annoying anyway. Where the other person knows something about me and uses this as the entire basis of their conversation. "You're a vegetarian? That's so cool! I will talk about vegetarian-oriented topics until you want to become a cannibal!" "You have cats? I have cats! I will now bore you to death talking about cats until your ears bleed!" The worst is when the person blurts out whatever it is they're talking about unprompted, just out of the blue. If I'm at a party, and everyone is talking about frogs, "I like blue shoes" will cause me to stop and stare blankly until my brain parses that information and tries to figure out what the hell blue shoes have to do with anything else involved in the situation. My "WTF" fu is strong, and I can convey that term in bold, italic, underlined, 24 pt font, all-caps.. with a glance. What's usually worse than the initial statement is the follow up explanation.. "I heard you always buy blue shoes." .. especially if the information is wrong. It's not nice to laugh at people, but right about there, I usually can't help myself.
Yet a third aspect is the Spanish Inquisition get-to-know-you-better encouraging questions and statements. "Why are you a vegetarian?" "I can't eat meat." "Well, I think that's a good thing, because it shows you care about animals!" .. "What made you choose to become pagan?" "I haven't found a definition for the Powers That Be that fits my own personal belief system." "Oh, it's so good to see young people questioning and learning!" This aspect has gotten bad enough that I try to derail it with completely off-the-wall answers. "Why'd you choose to become a vegetarian?" "Tortoises." "Oh..uh.. what?" "Tortoises. I like giant Galapagos tortoises. They're herbivores, and they lead a very peaceful sort of life. In trying to mode my life after the Way of the Galapagos Tortoise, I chose to stop eating meat to hopefully bring myself further into symbiosis with them." "Great.. uh.. gotta go!" "Why are you (insert thing here)?" "Have you ever noticed how the flavour of bread changes when it becomes toast? It's not just the texture, it's the entire taste..(find a way to bring this around to whatever they were asking me about. Usually after their eyes have glazed over.)"
I had someone come up to me after the wedding and cheerfully remark that I must've been wasted. Which isn't true, because I'm far too much of a control freak to get past the drunk-dial-your-cellphone-phonebook-list stage of tipsy. The basis for drunk determination stemmed from the way I kept twisting the conversations of the two people who were being social post-its that night. I noted that there had been two choices: make it amusing or hide under a table and scream.
The table wasn't really an option. Have you seen what lurks on the bottom of rental-buffet tables? Ugh.
-P
posted by Peregrine at 1:10 PM
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